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“Love your neighbour as yourself”, that is what the holy book says. The moment you start to love others more than you love yourself is when you start to feel drained and tired. It is important to be kind to yourself. Anytime I do a post that has something to do with self-care or loving oneself, I always like to point out that this does not in any way mean selfishness. While selfishness means you are excessively concerned with just yourself and your needs, loving yourself means you have regard for yourself and for your happiness. It means that you treat yourself with kindness and love, the way you treat relationships that are important to you.

Sometimes, it seems that we find it easier to treat others with kindness, and I am in no way disregarding the moments when we are selfish because we definitely have those too. But, there are certain acts we take, certain things we do as humans for others that we do not do for ourselves. An example of this is talking down on ourselves when we have made an honest mistake. Another is expecting so much from yourself you almost beat yourself into depression.

So, let’s look at a few ways you can start being kinder to yourself.

Be self-aware

Being self-aware helps you to manage your emotions better. With self-awareness, your focus is on you and you are able to properly evaluate your current behaviour. Rather than comparing yourself with others or the environment, you compare yourself with your standards, values and what you believe to be right for you. To be more self-aware, you need to spend time with yourself and build the best friendship. Create the time to self-reflect on your actions or inactions daily. Another way to be self-aware is to be mindful of your thoughts. Watch what you think and meditate on. Your thoughts might seem harmless in the initial stages but unconsciously, they control how you behave.

Live intentionally

We have all been called to a life of purpose, and this is either you know this or not. But within this purpose that we have been called to are several parts which we could easily call goals. This one, I believe everybody has at least one. in achieving this goal, your actions have to be intentional towards it. If it is something that goes against your goal and value for yourself, you do not have to be involved in it. Live intentionally according to the goals that you have set for yourself and according to God’s plan for you. Have fun when you need to and take breaks to avoid any form of breakdown.

Set boundaries

Boundaries are limits and guidelines that you create to state how we want to be treated by others. It is the edge you have around yourself to show what you can take and what you can’t. Basically, we create boundaries to protect ourselves from  unwanted action, feeling that eats into our perception of who we are. Set boundaries around yourself that will keep you from toxic people.

Forgive yourself

This could be difficult to do because the only person you are with 100% of the time is yourself. and as humans, we do stupid things that we sometimes do not even believe we can do. When these things happen, it has to be an intentional effort to forgive yourself so you do not get to the point of self-loathe. We grow everyday and in the process of growing are several learning moments. In these moments, there will be mistakes made. When you make these mistakes, do ot be so hard on yourself. learn from the mistakes and avoid making such mistakes again.

If you are able to forgive your friend for insulting you, then you should forgive yourself. If you have ot been able to forgive your friend, then you should start from learning to forgive yourself.

Being kind to yourself is a must especially in this world that we live in. One thing I have come to realise is that if you are kind to yourself, if you love yourself, you are a better person. and as a better person, you are able to love others and be kinder to them.

Be kind to yourself.

Be kind to yourself- Tobi Achudume

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