At this point, I think it is clear that my major goal is to help people become the best version of themselves (If you watch my videos on YouTube, you would have heard it in every single video). And I really do mean this. Personal development is something everyone should aspire to work on. The thing is I have learnt to operate in a growth mindset and one of the perks of this mindset is that it makes clear that there is always room for improvement. I will talk about this in another blogpost.
A growth mindset says, “I am great as I am, but I could be greater if I work on myself”. There is always a better version that we can reach for. It is in this growth that we realise that sayings like “that is how I am” and “I cannot change myself” are just excuses to not do the work of growing. If these statements were true, then we could just have remained teenagers that did not need to think of a job or source of income. So, I say this as often as I can because I honestly believe that there is always a better version of us if we are indeed striving towards perfection like Christ.
However, there are certain misconceptions when it comes to personal development and aiming to be better. So, my intention with this post is to paint a clearer picture of the journey of personal development and to correct some misconceptions that have been emphasised.
Personal development is a conscious step you take.
It does not just happen. You have to decide to take the step and take the step towards your better self. As great as you are, one reason why you desire to be a better version is because you see some deficiencies. There are some traits or characters that you see in yourself that you are not necessarily proud of. And it is awesome that you have noticed this at the time that you did. The first step in solving a problem is recognising the problem and that you have done. Now, you need to consciously take the decision to go on this journey of personal development. The development, change and growth that you desire will not just walk up to you in the middle of the day while you are sipping a glass of wine. You have to take the step towards it.
Taking the step may require you letting go of some habits, picking up new habits, learning a new skill. It may require you let go of some relationships and building new friendships. It will also mean you have to open yourself up to change. And if you decide to go on this journey with a personal coach, it will mean you opening yourself to constructive criticism and corrections. Most of all, it will mean you have to be disciplined in the journey so that the result is positive and not one of repetitive trials.
Personal development is not a one-time thing It is a journey.
We expect a drastic change, a 100% turnaround from your entire person. It is understandable that you think this considering how personal development is talked about as something that could happen at the snap of the finger. But that is not how it works. I know this for a fact. When I decided to take myself seriously and aspire to be my best version, I would feel terrible when I try something and did not see the result in days. Sometimes you don’t see the growth when it is happening, you only notice it with your reactions to certain things or events change.
The desire to be a better version of you sometimes comes from your admiration of someone, or in my case, a lot of “someones”. But what we forget is that these people that we admire did not get to where they are now in a few days. For some, it was years of growing and going through challenging moments that makes it seem like a seamless walk. So, the journey of personal development, as much as you would want it to be immediate, is not. It takes time and consistency.
The amazing thing about this journey is that because it is an on-going journey, you often do not see how far you have gone until something makes you realise that growth has taken place, or someone points your attention to it. this is the part where I mention the important of having self-assessment and conversations with yourself. Because it is in these meetings that you discover and see the growth that you have made.
You are not trying to be someone else
Yearning to be a better version of yourself does not mean you are trying to be someone else. It means you love yourself enough to give only your best version in every area and every way. It does not mean you are competing with someone else. The only person you should be competing with is your past self and that is the version you are trying to grow from. If you are trying to imbibe a positive character that you have seen in someone, don’t limit yourself to think you are trying to be that person. You have only seen a feature that you admire and would like to see how it fits into your lifestyle. If it was the case of trying to be someone else because you saw the character in someone else, then no other person should be trying to exercise.
But we admire this and see the effect in those who do and so we try to be consistent with it also.
There is nothing wrong in admiring people, their characters, principles. It however becomes a problem if you let jealousy or envy get in the way, and this is a whole different blog.
The desire to embark on a journey of personal development does not mean you are not good as you are right now. It only means that you are willing to grow and learn to always be better that your past self. There is always room for growth, always new things to learn and new levels of greatness to attain. But sometimes, to get to those new level, you have to grow into a newer and better version of you.
Believe you me, it is. I mean, what better way to show yourself love than to be committed to your growth? I like to make this distinction anytime I’m talking about self-love- Self-love is very different from selfishness. Self-love means you remind yourself that you are important to you as much as others are important. You can love yourself and love others too. So, when you invest in your growth and development, you send a message to yourself that your relationship with yourself is important to you and you are committed to being your best version always.
As I conclude, I must say that with personal development, sometimes, you may only need to tweak one area of your life to see the growth you want to see. It is not always a magnificent transformation or a whole change of lifestyle. It may be one thing you need to add that causes a significant effect in your development. Other times, it will require you making several steps at different times.
Before you go, I have opened the doors to my Personal development Mastermind, a 6-weeks intensive coaching program for millennia who are ready to start their journey to their best versions. Click here to find out more about this.